Jasmine and Lauren's Creative Project! Hamlet, A First Folio

Hi guys!

I thought it would be a good idea to post my creative project now and get it out of the way (: What you see here is my part of a creative project that I'm working on with Lauren K (minus the quarto part, we'll be finishing that shortly). Since I'm computer illiterate and can't figure out how to attach the PDF to my post, I've just copied it directly in. Enjoy!

The Mother Goose-ification of Hamlet

By Jasmine Foo

Adapted from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet

  

I tell you that all their battering can’t deface my beauties, nor their wise pratings equal my wiser prattling; and all imitators of my refreshing songs might as well write a new Billy Shakespeare as another Mother Goose- we two poets were born together, and we shall go out of the world together.

No, no my Melodies will never die,

While nurses sing, or babies cry.

-Mother Goose

An Introduction

Let us wade through the ‘Once-upon-a-time’s

Read by parents while saying good night-

To the fairies and mermaids we will wave goodbye

As we leave these tales with a tear in our eye,

And look forward to stories wrapped up quite neatly-

Not in storybook form, but still done rather sweetly.

I speak of the ones that can be read in a flash;

They rhyme and have rhythm and are not at all rash.

Let us go to these poems, from a fair-feathered friend,

Whose characters and stories we all greatly commend.

And take from another, who is extremely renowned;

Those who read his works find him rather profound.

While most would ponder at the mixture of these two,

I humbly ask that you see the story through-

Shakespeare is here, I can promise you that.

But you’ll only see him if you first give it a chance.

If we were to think about the stories of our youth

One would find that there is inexplicable truth

Found in the words of dear Mother Goose

Though, while silly, did wisdom produce.

----

There once were two good fellows

Who owned two very grand cellos.

Named in our tale as MarCat and BerFiddle,

They found themselves in a troublesome diddle.

Striding the top of the castle one night

They saw a spectre that put their wits to flight:

The dead king in good form,

Yet opaque enough to look out of the norm.

Our tale continues with the calling of

Little Boy Horatio, who said:

“It’s Prince Hamlet who must see this apparition

If only he weren’t right now playing badminton!”

As the following morning dawned bright and true,

King ClauDish set about to knock the truth askew.

“The death of King Hamlet deserves a tribute-

And that is why I’m marrying Queen GerSpoon!”

Queen GerSpoon smiled and let out a wave;

The courtiers, enchanted, let out a hooray-

All except one.

Prince Hamlet Black Sheep stood glaring in a corner,

While the court discussed Denmark’s borders.

When the queen and the king and the court left the room,

Hamlet’s suicide rant let off a discernible gloom.

While Hamlet ranted about death and despair,

Little Boy Horatio came in without any fanfare.

“My angelic prince,” he cried, “Please don’t delay!”

“We saw your dead father at 3 a.m. on Tuesday!”

“What now?” cried Black Sheep, drawn out of his reverie,

“My good father, dead, seen at the top of tower thirteen?”

He let out a roar, and proclaimed straightaway,

“There’s something amiss; I must investigate!”

And as Prince Black Sheep walked away,

Little Boy Horatio whispered:

“Yes, there’s something amiss in the state of Denmark.”

Meanwhile, Leartes be Nimble was saying goodbye

To Little Bophelia, with Father Humpty Dumpty Polonius nearby.

“Bophelia,” he warned, “Please try to behave.

Don’t fall for Prince Hamlet while I am away.”

Humpty Dumpty Polonius tried to give knowledge

To his son of how to survive in college.

He then turned to his daughter and sternly told her

Not a word of love to Hamlet could she utter.

“I will obey,” said Little Bophelia.

“I will obey.”

That night, Prince Hamlet Black Sheep saw his dead father

Who went on to tell him of his unnatural slaughter.

“My son,” the king said, ‘you have been deceived.”

“Your newlywed uncle has killed me for greed.”

Then the cock crowed and the sun came up as it must,

And the ghost of King Hamlet disappeared into the dust.

“My father,” Black Sheep vowed, “Do not dismay!”

“I will avenge; from this promise I will not sway!”

The next day, Little Bophelia rushed to her father in despair.

“The lord Hamlet,” she cried, “seems to be losing his hair!”

“Just today I passed by him while he was yanking it off;

He grabbed me, bleated mournfully, and went off without a cough.”

Humpty Dumpty Polonius rushed to the throne room

Where RosenJack and GuildenJill were introduced by the broom.

“King ClauDish!” he cried, “Hamlet’s source of madness is now revealed;

It is love for my daughter that he feels!”

“How now!” cried ClauDish, “I must know if it’s true!”

“RosenJack! GuildenJill! Haunt Hamlet and find something new.”

The two of them bowed and promised to obey;

they left the room and found Hamlet astray.

“My lord!” they both cried, “It is so good to see you!”

Of their second agenda, Black Sheep was sure that he knew.

And thus, the questions could barely leave their lips

As Hamlet spun word games that left them speechless.

RosenJack and GuildenJill told Hamlet of the approaching players;

And the players came forward, acting like mayors.

“My players!” Hamlet cried, “Today I don’t need mayors,

But rather something akin to a slayer.”

Then Black Sheep discussed his plan rather moodily;

And the eager players agreed to do it quite crudely.

They put the play on and shocked the pants off the king,

Who thought, “Oh my goodness! Someone’s on to me!”

However, the king had been closely watching the prince

And decided that something was easily amiss.

Between the “To be’s” and the ‘To a nunnery with you!”

He sensed there was some sanity in the words that rang true.

Troubled, the king talked to ‘Jack and ‘Jill

And told them make haste to England.

“Bring the poor Prince-to-be unfettered;

Maybe that will make him feel better.”

When the pair left the room, ClauDish thought himself alone;

He fell to his knees, feeling the need to atone.

And while he prayed by himself and made up excuses,

The Prince Black Sheep crept in, ready to deliver abuses.

But he soon decided that now was not the right time

To kill Uncle ClauDish for his terrible crime.

Black Sheep mused, “To kill him now would send him to heaven!

That is not revenge- ClauDish must remain unforgiven.”

At this same time, Queen GerSpoon and Humpty were conspiring

To find the reason why Hamlet had become so unadmiring.

“You lure him in, GerSpoon, and talk to him freely.

I’ll be behind this arras, so call if you need me.”

Our Black Sheep waltzed in, quite suspectful of Queenie;

They yelled at each other and acted quite obscenely.

Polonius cried out, “Don’t worry, I’ll save you!”

And Hamlet cried as he stabbed through the arras: “I bid you adieu!”

It was easily seen

That all the king’s horses

And all the king’s men

Weren’t able to put Polonius together again.

Hamlet was thus escorted by ‘Jack and ‘Jill

To England, where he was to be killed.

But the letter that sentenced dear Black Sheep to death,

Was taken and rewritten all in one breath.

This is how the story goes:

RosenJack and GuildenJill went up the hill

To fetch a Black Sheep who was 'mentally ill’.

But the cost was too much,

And the pair did rush:

‘Jack fell down and broke his dear crown,

And ‘Jill came soon tumbling after.

While Hamlet was gallivanting across the high seas,

Little Bophelia was fighting for her sanity.

For she had lost her father and brother and dear Black Sheep;

And couldn’t tell where to find them.

Her mind was falling fast asleep,

While around the halls of Elsinore did she creep.

And she sang:

“There was a mad man,

And he had a mad wife,

And they lived all in a mad lane!

They had three children all at a birth,

And they too were mad every one.

The father was mad,

The mother was mad,

The children all mad beside;

And upon a mad horse they all of them got,

And madly away did ride.”

So Hamlet hitched a ride back

And found his dear ‘Phelia dead.

“She went bonkers, insane!” everyone claimed.

“After her father she was never the same.”

Laertes Be Nimble came back to Elsinore

To avenge his father with a great big roar.

“My father and sister, dead and gone!

Hamlet’s to blame! I’m gonna mow his lawn!”

“Don’t beat him just yet!” King ClauDish said hastily.

“How about we poison him? He’ll find it tasty.”

Laertes thought hard and finally agreed.

“We’ll poison him thoroughly!” ‘Be Nimble decreed.

“Not only the drink, but the sword as well!

I have a fancy poison from France that will work swell.”

They both shook hands and settled on the morrow;

Nobody could predict all the soon coming sorrow.

The next day came and the fight was announced.

Lil’ Boy Horatio said, “I’m not too sure of this joust.

I have a bad feeling. It rings a bad bell.”

But Hamlet assured him, “If I need you, I’ll yell.”

When Black Sheep strode in, his opponent stood waiting.

Someone shouted “Go!” and then they were scraping.

A One hit a Two hit a Three hit a Four!

Just one more will do, just one more to score.

A tap on the shoulder, and Laertes fell.

“A drink to Hamlet,” cried the king, meaning not well.

But Hamlet refused, and Queen GerSpoon was thirsty.

“Just a drink from the goblet!” she cried out quite blithely.

Another round came just as fast as the first,

And ended with Hamlet again without thirst.

Laertes, enraged, jumped to stab the sheep’s wool

Only to find himself used as a tool.

The two boys wrestled, and the swords were switched.

Laertes be nimble, Laertes be quick.

But this time he’s not jumping over a candlestick.

Too slow was he, and he ended up stabbed.

Realizing his error, at Hamlet he grabbed.

“I’m poison, I’m poisoned!” cried Laertes Be Nimble.

“Queen GerSpoon is too, now were all in a diddle!”

GerSpoon gasped, and fell down with a clatter.

Laertes fell too, and make such a big splatter.

In this story, the Dish did run away with the Spoon,

But in the end the Spoon’s life was ended by noon,

And the Dish was cracked beyond any repair:

Stabbed and poisoned through, was this dishware.

And then Hamlet Black Sheep gave a cry of despair.

“I’m finished! I’m done!” he shouted up in the air.

“I’m joining Bophelia up in the stars; oh my!

This is it. Now I die, die, die, die!”

This Hamlet Black Sheep had a lot of wool,

Yes he did; he had three bags full.

Unfortunately these bags did him no good.

And that is why Black Sheep ended up dead too.

The only person left was Little Boy Horatio.

The black sheep was dead in the meadow,

But Horatio wasn’t to blame.

Still he mournfully thought, “Is this the way you mind your sheep,

Under the haycock fast asleep?”

With this mindset in place,

He tried to reconcile by helping Hamlet to fame.

Horatio told the world the story

Of the woeful times in Elsinore.

He mentioned the events that divided family more,

And ultimately created a family war.

For there were two brothers who shared the same queen-

Being both son and nephew, Black Sheep felt the need to intervene.

He spoke of the supposed glory and fame-

And the dysfunctional family that could not keep sane.

-----

An Author’s Note:

Mother Goose has always played an integral part in my childhood memories. I always remember her nursery rhymes alongside the colorful children’s books written by Richard Scarry and Dr. Seuss, other prime contributors to my reading at a younger age. Nursery rhymes appeal not only to children, but to adults as well- the simple cadence of words are both easy to understand and interesting to listen to. Nursery rhymes tell us stories that engage our ears and our minds. What better medium for something like Hamlet, which is one of Shakespeare’s longest plays? Most people think of his works as complicated and hard to read- I can only hope that I’ve helped to change that a little in an entertaining manner.

And one more thing- I found the most perfect Mother Goose rhyme to fit in as Ophelia’s song (found on page 7). I couldn’t bring myself to change anything about it, as I felt that no change was needed. The rhyme can be found here:

http://mothergoose.com/Rhymes/RhymesmerryMelodie.htm